I’ve had a difficult day- they’re all difficult days right now, aren’t they? I called in sick to work because I woke up feeling like I had a wet towel slung over my heart for no real reason I could put my finger on, knowing that if anyone were to be angry down at the phone at me over the course of my shift I would cry. I would cry and I would cry *hard*, and it would be humiliating in the bad way.

They’re all difficult days right now, to a greater or lesser degree.

I slept all day and woke up in the early evening. Had a shower, thought about getting myself a hearty dinner of some description. Got a message from the Bad American telling me to check my mailbox as I had a delivery. I dressed speedily and ran downstairs to find not one, not two, but three parcels!

One was from Italy and the projected delivery date was extremely conservative, so I hadn’t been expecting it to arrive for weeks. It’s lovely piece of art that I’ve been coveting for months, which came wrapped in ribbon and tissue paper and rained a shower of pink heart confetti into my lap when I opened it. Friends: in these dark times, buy yourselves presents. Buy yourselves things that have the potential, when you receive them, to make you squeal with joy.

In the other parcels were a little PVC cupless bra confection with a halterneck strap which I’m told makes me look like a ‘trashy bareback slut’ (so, Mission Accomplished and Truth in Advertising, I guess) and a steel buttplug. The Princess kind, with the pink heart. Nothing cutesy about it, though- it’s a size large and it absolutely feels it. I like that it stings a little going in, I like that it’s the first plug I’ve ever owned that I could not even think about using without lube. I very much enjoy the heft of it in my ass and the stretch when I take it out is an absolute delight.

‘It’s very cold’, I wrote, weighing the bulb in the palm of my hand. ‘I’m sure you’ll warm it up’, he answered. And he was right: I absolutely did.

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