I mean, I can’t drive? So I don’t really know how to answer to this one.
7. A song to drive to
I do know one thing- I like being driven. This summer I had a short- lived but very sweet, quite intense friendship thing with a pointlessly handsome young man. He is very funny and incredibly good company and for a while we hung out and talked at each other in an incessant, riffing sort of way, the way that two people with diagnoses of ADHD will tend to do. I was intermittently very attracted to him, because it was almost impossible not to be. He was so handsome, and so funny, and I enjoyed hanging out with him and shooting the shit so very much. But I was always very determined to keep these feelings at arm’s length because I was pretty sure that he wasn’t attracted to me, mainly because I felt like I was so much older than him that it was ridiculous to even consider it. (We haven’t seen each other much since he met and ran off into the sunset with his girlfriend, who is perhaps three months younger than me. That’ll learn me to assume, huh? I mean, he wasn’t attracted to me, but it certainly wasn’t because I was too old).
Anyway, one evening we drive into the countryside to go to a sort of 5 Rhythms- y kind of dance thing. He was feeling glum and I was feeling glum and we went to this converted barn in Somerset and writhed on the floor for a couple of hours in a way that was intended to help process and release emotions. I guess it helped, a little bit, perhaps. And then we sped home in his little yellow car, down these winding, badly lit country lanes this song playing very loudly, and I felt myself overtaken by this wave of absolute contentment and extreme fondness for him which briefly made me feel like a much younger, much less jaded person.
Like I say, we haven’t spoken for about 4 months. We might not ever hang out like that again and while that makes me sad it’s also just the way of things. Some friendships are short- lived and organic. They have a lifespan. That’s just the way it is.